3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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