our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He literally asked permission to hit on me
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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