anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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