but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
