We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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