toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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