stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
