He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Floor bacon is actually really good
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
