she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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