Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The beer is more important than you right now.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
