New invention idea: vibrating tampons
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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