do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
