Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
