After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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