Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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