your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
