have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
