are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
