So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
