I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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