He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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