he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
