you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
