i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
tequila makes me forget i have legs
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
