they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
