it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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