do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
