she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
