I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
