Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
