Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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