porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
