hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
