Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
