if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
