my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
