I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
