remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
