And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
