The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
