I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
