No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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