Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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