I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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