You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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