Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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