It's Friday. Sex?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
