I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
