I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
