Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
