You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
