I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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