I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Hippo gnu deer
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
