Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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