i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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