Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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