Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
