Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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